The truth is quite boring

headlines are flying about that I think Macintire’s a c*nt…Well!!  here’s what what was really said.(no headlines here!)  Newspapers are shedding staff like autumn leaves so this is what you get.I get interviewed by a girl who sounded like she was in Jeremy Kyle’s green room.
hello is that Jim?
yes
Oh…so you’re going on tour?
yes
Ok why’s that?
Its what I do?
Why?
It’s how I earn my living
Oh
You went on New faces?
Yes
Why’s that.?
eh?
Why did you go on that?
Well its like x Factor is today..except it ws about the acts not the panel..it was for professionals not the karaoke singing on the X factor.
Why is your tour called 40 years on?
I’ve been in show biz for 40 years..
So why do it?
Well it will show the young guns that I’m still around and doing it despite what they say…
You got the OBE
yes
So what Charities do you sponsor?
Eh?
You got it for charity..what ones
Have you done any research on me?
Yes….. you won big Bruvvvarrrr
Bye drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Kent on line…class

GREG LAKE

I went to Greg Lake’s funeral yesterday. It was a very private affair was just family and close friends. It is sad to see him go. He was a genius and had a way of touching people’s hearts with his music and his meaningful lyrics. He will be sadly missed that his art will remain.

Ars longa vita brevis… As they say!

New things

Care after Combat has just completed 18 months of research regarding veterans who end up in prison. I have been involved from the start. Our job is a difficult one because of the nature of the subject.

95% of all service leavers have no problem but there are those who flounder and end up in the criminal justice system.

Numbers vary, but is safe to say we have over 3000 prisoners  who have once served in HM armed forces.

We look after the ones with 12 months of their sentence or less to do. we give them a mentor who helps them form a pathway back to normal life(if there is such a thing)

We have 166(as of today) prisoners on our books. 60 have been released and our success rate of non re- offending in that 18 months is 100%

I have been interim CEO for the last year since our old one threw a track and walked out . It is knackering. I have 14 full time staff and 60 part time. We have a 12 bed hostel in Southampton called Simon Weston House, and three offices!

This all comes to a few quid!  I have to raise 400k plus a year to pay for it all. The money we get goes on paying people to deliver a service to the veterans. Our mentors are volunteers and receive only expenses. But you add that up at 120 visits per month all over the country and it gets scary! We also have a team of psyciatric staff who are invaluable in sorting our blokes out.

Our report will show that veterans in the CJS are responding to our help.But we need to do more…to get our teams into all prisons nationwide. We also need to work more(and are going to) with the NHS, who are really turning up the heat on veteran mental welfare. Funny isn’t it, you never get GOOD news about the NHS.its about time the public know what good a job they are doing for our veterans.

There’s a job offer for me to do this full time. it would mean cutting back my “day job” of touring and live stuff…and all the money that goes with it. Hmmmm.  I can see the head lines now!  Not “Jim gives up 400k a year to work for charity”  thats for sure. But the work needs to be done, I can do it, and I want to do it, but its a lot of responsibility. Still, I’ve been doing for a year and a bit of responsibility will do me good. So come on, go on Care after Combat web site and help us help them.    Right I’m off to Wealsden Prison today and HMP Winchester for Xmas eve….I use to do Panto!!!!

 

merry Xmas all

Christmas

It’s been a really busy year for me. I have been acting as the interim chief executive officer of Care after Combat. It’s the first real job I’ve had since I worked at the Co-op. I will take on the role full-time at the end of this tour. That doesn’t mean I’m packing in the comedy, quite the reverse, I have to go on stage to give me a bit of light relief after the terrifying job of being responsible for 60 staff and 150 veteran prisoners. I’ve also have to raise £400,000 per year. I have a good team and I’m confident that we can continue helping veterans get their life back. I will do some shows in the summer and then I think I might do a play.

 

Have a merry Christmas and I will keep you informed.

birthday

Its my birthday today. If I’d of realised that I would have lived this is long, I would’ve taken better care of myself.

The Keith Emerson tribute concert is selling well. Please call Birmingham Symphony Hall box office for tickets, or check their website.

Greg lake

Greg was a genius. He was also a man who knew what he wanted and didn’t take fools well!  I met him years ago..he was extremely charming. I produced his last tour with a band. I found his band for him and they rehearsed in my studio. I made sandwhiches!

The tour he did was sensational and I am please that I was involved in making Greg sound sensational…some say the best.

We used to laugh a lot. I once described the colour of a car as “Dog Knob red” he laughed at that for a week.

 

he will be missed….oh  he was the best singer I ever heard.

Dinner

I had dinner last night with the former president of South Africa,FW De Krerk. I had been invited to sit at the top table at a fundraiser for the Margaret Thatcher Centre. The former president Davis a fascinating speech about how he transformed South Africa and abolished apartheid. He went on to say that Margaret Thatcher was a great help. He, of course, was responsible for the release of Nelson Mandela. I love hearing stories about other people’s countries and the struggles that they have. He was very approachable I’m thoroughly charming and I have to say he looked exactly how a president should look. I then buggered off to the Carlton club and drank vineyard. I did not have an appointment until lunchtime so I thought a good lie in will do me the world good back the phone rings I love I have to leg it back down to the office to sort out the worlds problems.

 

I can’t wait to see tonight’s episode of Westworld. What a great series. I can’t quite work out where it’s going yet but I am loving every bit of it. So tonight rolled shoulder of lamb in the big green egg, no booze…. Well perhaps just the one and then see up before back in the office tomorrow at 8 o’clock and then off to London to have drinks with the boss.

 

Keith Emerson, a musical celebration of his life.

Tickets go on sale on the 10th of this month. The show is going to be sensational. We still have 40 VIP tickets then you can book them now by calling Care after Combat on 0300 343 0255.

Keith Emerson

A lot of you will be aware that I was a big Emerson Lake and Palmer fan. Keith was a great inspiration to me, not only as a musician but as a great man and friend. He was always my first choice Best man!

It therefore gives me great pleasure to be able to produce a show to celebrate the life of my old friend. It will be held at the Birmingham Symphony Hall on 28 July 2017. There are a number of VIP tickets at £75 which you can reserve by calling care after combat 0300 343 0255 and ask for Rosie. The rest of the tickets will go on sale on the 10th of December and can be obtained from the Symphony Hall box office. Guests will include the great Rick Wakeman. There will also be a 50 piece symphony Orchestra and surprise guest stars. Any profit from the show will go to Care after Combat.so…..

Welcome back my friends, to the show that never ends….

reactions

I have decided to do more posts on this website. I get a bit fed up with twitter, in fact I hardly use it at all.

I’ve finished the first leg of my tour and it is going well. The first week I had a bad stomach, over the last two weeks I’ve had man flu.

Of course, you do lots of interviews with the newspapers and of course, they pick up the juicy bits. They seem to like anything that is going to court controversy. Nothing new there then! The Daily Mail seems to be the worst. I’m at a loss to know what the Daily Mail stands for. They love to bring up the past and stir up the shit. I should stop reading it but I have to say the Mail Online is great. This Sunday’s papers seem to concentrate on two things regarding me, firstly that I don’t believe that I should be involved in the process of changing the law after my experiences with operation yew tree. And I don’t. Well that’s not quite true, what I believe it is that just because I was arrested it doesn’t make me an expert.

The other story seems to concentrate on how unfunny I think women comedians are. Well let’s clear up try and avoid confusion. I am the funniest man in the world and I don’t like any other comedians, especially if they’re funny! They seem to single out Miranda Hart. I think she is quite funny, but to be honest I don’t think she would be the right person to host the generation game. I did it for 7 years so I think I can have a say. However, having a say seems to bring out all the nutters on twitter and all the people who have never seen me,who take pleasure in saying I am not funny. Well they have every right to say that, just like I have every right to say who I think is funny and who I think is not funny. Comedy is a strange business. You can’t make everybody laugh. I don’t think Michael McIntyre it’s funny the lots of people do, although I’ve not met many of them. I love Laurel and Hardy but I can’t stand Charlie Chaplin. I love Tom and Jerry when it was produced by Fred Quimby.. Good old Fred! When they were produced by Chuck Jones they became completely unfunny. As I said it is a strange old business.

Tour correction

My first show is actually  Thursday 27th  ….tit!!!